(Reading time: 3 minutes)
Hello everyone,
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
2024 was a hectic year, so I’m happy it’s over! However, as we start a new year, I needed to know why I felt this way throughout the whole year. After some thought, I realised that I put a lot of pressure on myself, which makes me feel overwhelmed most of the time. I need to feel less pressured and stressed, whether on the personal or professional side of my life.
So what does it mean reading-wise?
During 2024, I was sometimes struggling to just enjoy reading books. The pressure I put on myself to continue the blog like it used to be was too significant. I feel it now, but there were some signs :
- I was limiting myself to reading some books. I wouldn’t read a book that was too big (more than 450 pages), too complex, or that required a reread. I was even afraid to continue a series! There is only one book that I read which was complex and big but it took me nearly a month to read it, making me feel guilty as I didn’t read other books simultaneously.
- I wanted to read more than I could. Now that I’m working, I can’t read as much as I like because I don’t have as much time to dedicate to this activity. I try to give myself more time to read by going to a café for one hour after work hours, which helps, but I struggle to read at home or on the weekend. Every weekend, I’m like, I will read, and in fine, I never did it, I can’t concentrate, and I just don’t have any motivation to pick a book and just read it. I was so frustrated and stressed by it that it was ridiculous.
- The culpability when I wasn’t inspired or didn’t feel like reviewing the book I was reading. I tried a hundred times to find a way to find a way to write reviews even when I didn’t have the energy or the motivation to do it, which made me dissatisfied with a lot of the ones I did that year. At some point, I was delaying writing the review, and even if I took notes, I didn’t feel like writing it one or two months after reading it.
All those things made me realise that I don’t read to enjoy my reading but for the blog, and the pleasure is replaced by the burden of reading. This also adds to the pressure I’m putting on myself.
That’s why I decided this year to be more mindful of myself, read just to read, and not think of the blog. I will (maybe) write some reviews, but it won’t be my priority anymore. Concerning my goals in 2025 I would like:
- Continue to DNF like I did in November and December (My Clearursht readathon post will come soon)
- If I don’t want to read it’s not a problem (I can’t do it like when I was unemployed, it’s not possible anymore)
- Write a review when I feel it
- Bring back the pleasure of reading a book
- Finish or be up-to-date with my series
- No culpability
It’s not my best post, but I wanted to be transparent regarding my blog, reading, and how I feel about it. There are obviously other reasons, but they are more personal, so I do not want to discuss them. I hope this decision will help me get back on track either at the end of 2025 or 2026.
See you soon,
Books & Reviews 